Wednesday, December 25, 2013


Something about today has me teetering on the verge of tears.

Watching my husband help my baby unwrap presents this morning filled my heart with a joy that is so much deeper and richer than I could have ever imagined possible. And I had some big expectations!

I wonder if these moments of overwhelming love and joy are more intense because of everything that we went through to get to here... If the highs are higher because the lows were so low.

We will be celebrating my dear boy's second birthday on Friday and it takes me right back to Christmas two years ago, while we were patiently awaiting his arrival. It takes me right back to the day that Mr Fox got the phone call telling him we were pregnant. Right back to the hope that I felt in the weeks between our transfer and that phone call. and to the raw consuming heartache of infertility that had lived in our home for the preceding years. I was always on the verge of tears then.

I can't help but think today about all of the amazing women who i 'met' during those tragic years, the beautiful children who are now unwrapping presents in their homes this morning, and that feeling of gratitude overwhelms me again, spilling down my cheeks.

I realize today that our experience will forever define us as a family, not just as a shared experience of grief and loss, but also as a shared experience of eternal gratitude joy and overwhelming love.