Wednesday, December 25, 2013


Something about today has me teetering on the verge of tears.

Watching my husband help my baby unwrap presents this morning filled my heart with a joy that is so much deeper and richer than I could have ever imagined possible. And I had some big expectations!

I wonder if these moments of overwhelming love and joy are more intense because of everything that we went through to get to here... If the highs are higher because the lows were so low.

We will be celebrating my dear boy's second birthday on Friday and it takes me right back to Christmas two years ago, while we were patiently awaiting his arrival. It takes me right back to the day that Mr Fox got the phone call telling him we were pregnant. Right back to the hope that I felt in the weeks between our transfer and that phone call. and to the raw consuming heartache of infertility that had lived in our home for the preceding years. I was always on the verge of tears then.

I can't help but think today about all of the amazing women who i 'met' during those tragic years, the beautiful children who are now unwrapping presents in their homes this morning, and that feeling of gratitude overwhelms me again, spilling down my cheeks.

I realize today that our experience will forever define us as a family, not just as a shared experience of grief and loss, but also as a shared experience of eternal gratitude joy and overwhelming love.


  1. oh how much I love your family, your story, your amazing strength and truth my friend. How I look forward to the pictures in my mailbox and your cyber hugs.

    I think that some of the moments of parenting are "JUST MORE" because of the infertility for all of us. For years and years we spent our holidays daydreaming about the day that we would watch our children rip wrapping paper and be part of our lives and memories. There is no way that we could imagine how INCREDIBLY awesome it would be when our reality met the fantasy.

    but you said it all right here...eternal GRATITUDE xoxoxo

  2. Awwww. Great post! We had such a great group of women going through the same thing at the same time. Most of us now have our amazing!

    I'm remembering how impossible it was that I delivered so far ahead of you!!!!!!!! Who would've thought? That first week at home when I barely slept and was half psychotic I kinda wanted to tell you to keep the baby in as long as possible ;-)